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a paper tiger's tale

books make maddy rage

There’s Bugger All Down Here On Earth || A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking

★★★★☆ Stephen Hawking – chief dude of epic physics, political activist, and all round badarse black hole butt-kicker – dead? NOT LIKELY MATE. Here’s what really happened.

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Black Magic, Vampires, & Moscow – Oh My! || The Night Watch by Sergei Lukyanenko

★★★★☆ This novel has one of the cheesiest covers I’ve seen in a long time, what with the stock flame effects and the vampire who looks like an undead reject of N-Sync. I honestly thought it was going to be... Continue Reading →

The Exact Definition of a Bloody Good Book || The Exact Opposite of Okay by Laura Steven

★★★★★ HOLY GOD. I am so grateful that this book is in the world. Teen girls will read this and receive the sort of affirmation of their self-worth and sexuality which I never got as a teenager. Best of all, I got to meet the lovely Laura Steven at the book's official launch in Newcastle and have my copy signed!

Can somebody make Elphaba x Glinda canon already?! || The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire

★★★☆☆ I was never a huge fan of the Wizard of Oz. Firstly, it’s sort of creepy and secondly the wizard is a massive douchecanoe. I am however a HUMUNGOUS fan of Wicked. So I shamelessly compared Gregory Maguire’s novel to the musical throughout this review.  The short answer is, it’s a pretty mixed bag! They’re quite different, and I really enjoyed both. 

Living the Amazon Glamazon dream|| Woman in the Wilderness by Miriam Lancewood

★★★★☆ Since 2010, Miriam Lancewood has lived nomadically in the wilds of New Zealand with her partner. They spend all their waking moments connected to nature. They walk hundreds of miles through forests, rivers, mountains. She hunts for their food. Also she some how does all of this whilst looking like a mega babe??? Wtf??? 

Roar, more like PHWOAR ft. Sexiest Lions Countdown|| Magic Bites & Magic Burns by Ilona Andrews

★★★★★ WERE THESE BOOKS WRITTEN TO BRING ME JOY? APPARENTLY YES?? Sadly, it’s taken me six years to find out! I still remember my friend nagging me to read them all the way through year 12. ‘Were-hyenas and a beast lord?’ I snorted from my moral high horse. ‘That sounds super cliché and also redonkadonk. I only read REAL literature you know.’ Well guess what 17 year old Maddy you were WRONG. 

If you don’t like Valerian you’re WRONG ACCORDING TO SCIENCE || Valerian: The Offical Movie Novelisation by Christie Golden

★★★☆☆ CARA DELVIGNE!! CARA DELVIGNE!! CARA DELVIiiiIIIiiGNE!!!!! *clears throat* Right, now we've got that out of the way, let's talk about how I hoovered up this book like noo noo sucking up Tubbycustard. Why was I so into this book? Because Valerian: City of A Thousand Planets was THE MOST UNDERRATED FILM OF 2017 THAT'S WHY.  According to some people, this is just my "opinion". Jokes on them, because after meditating for 3432 hours God contacted me and confirmed that this is actually the infallible truth of the universe.

Children of Bafflement & Badassery // Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

★★☆☆☆ Ruh roh. Donny Downer here, along with Betty Buzzkill and Paul the Party Pooper. Buckle yourself in folks, unpopular opinions time strikes again.

Falcons? Nae. Paedo fairies? Yay! // The Falconer by Elizabeth May

Scary fairies? Check. Scary heroine? Check. Set in Edinburgh, my favourite city? CHECK. Three marvellous things mushed into a novel with a gorgeous cover -- what could possibly go wrong?  HAHAHA. HAHAHA. I WONDER HHAHAHA ahahah ha ha

Harry Potter and the Crummy Fanfic // Harry Potter and the Cursed Child by Jack Thorne

When I was a tender ickle 13 year old a whole bloody decade ago, I co-wrote a HP Next-Generation fanfic, and I was damn proud of it. Was it ridiculous? Yes. Did it have a plot? No. But you know what it DID have, that this official installation notably doesn’t?? ROSE EFFING WEASLEY.

MY 2018 GOALS + and how I’m gonna CRUSH them *enthusiastic yodelling*

So... it's taken me a solid two weeks to figure out what I actually want my goals this year to be. YAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! CRUSHING IT ALREADY!!!! Anyway. I unironically love New Year's resolutions, because they incorporate two of my favourite things: obsessive list writing + furious optimism in the face of incompetence. I'm going to dig straight in with a retrospective of my 2017 goals. *panicked yodel*

Women of means, by no means // Tess of the Road by Rachel Hartman

The internet is PEED OFF that this book isn’t like Seraphina!! WHY is a book about Seraphina's little sister not ALSO FULL OF DRAGONS, MORE DRAGONS AND LUCIAN KIGGS IN TIGHT BREECHES????  EXPLAIN>>>???!!!!!!! BECAUSE, esteemed netizens, this book doesn't want to... Continue Reading →

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