a paper tiger's tale

books make maddy rage

Why Yes Karen, The Cover IS A Vagina // Maestra by L. S. Hilton

This novel was sold to me as 50 Shades of Grey with BETTER SEX, MORE MURDER and also ART HISTORY. Since as we all know, these are the Three Vices of Womankind, I saw this book's 2.5 star rating on Goodreads and COMPLETELY IGNORED IT. Plus come on. The cover is literally a fanny. How could I not buy it?


Queen of the Failing @ Feminism // Queen of the Tearling by Erika Johansen

I’ve heard so much about this book, and it looked like warm and fluffy fantasy comfort reading – that is, predictable in a good way. So, I dived straight in and devoured the thing in a night. And yet, this review has still turned into 90% rant. Soz guys. I guess I just need more people to send me chocolate *hint*

Epicly Bisexual (WooOO!) and Epicly Pretentious (BoOo?!) // Conversations With Friends by Sally Rooney

So I read a thing that wasn’t fantasy or scifi or YA and actually…really liked it?! *world explodes* Sally Rooney is a friend of several of my friends from DUH I had to read it?? REASONS WHY DUH: Support women authours whoo!!! THIS MAKES ME TECHNICALLY SECOND HAND FAMOUS RIGHT???

“The tower actually represents my penSIVE FEELINGS” // The Dark Tower #1 by Stephen King

FIRSTLY let me apologise for posting half a week late…. AGAIN. You know when you realise NaNo is coming and then your world upturns into flames and when you open the door to escape six steam rollers drive through and flatten you with rollers that print you with massive glitter tattoos saying ‘WHY HAST THOU BETRAYED ME MADELEINE????’

In which Caelaena actually KILLS people!?? #FINALLY // Crown of Midnight by Sarah J Maas

So, in case you can't guess from the title, I was SIGNIFICANTLY less horribly displeased with this book than I was with its prequel. In fact, I might even go so far as to say that I really enjoyed it. Huzzah! Oh, happy day!

Promise of Blurgh // Promise of Blood by Brian McClellan (Powder Mage #1)

I thought I had come to terms with my incoherent rage at this book, put that dark time behind me and peacefully erased its stench from my soul. UNTIL. Until last month, when Brandon Sanderson hosted Brian McClellan on his podcast Writing Excuses and literally SHOWERED HIM IN COMPLIMENTS about how his novels are 'exactly what the reader wants'. .....Uh??? ET TU SANDERSON??? Then FALL sword and sorcery. So guess what readers? I'm retrospectively reviewing it for y'alls personal charm and pleasure.

October TBR + NaNoWriMo Prep (feat. Muffled Screaming & Excerpts From My 2012 NaNo)

Oh, October. How I love your blue autumn sky, your crisp orange leaves, the fact you are only one month till NaNo.... *record grinds to a halt*  Sorry, did someone say ONLY ONE MONTH TILL NANOWRIMO??

Instawuv and Hurrdurr // Love and Murder (Wonder Woman Vol.2) by Jodi Picoult

This week I'm trying something a little bit different, and reviewing a graphic novel (#EDGY). The good news? It's Wonder Woman!! The bad news? it sucked.

In which I ABANDON BASIC MORALITY for the sake of weirdly erotic shrubbery *sad reacts only pls* // Uprooted by Noami Novik

This book sidled up to me whispering seductive things like "Polish fairytales" "dark magic" and "bizarrely sexual descriptions of damp leaf mulch". I thought "I'll tap that mate," but before I could put it on my shelf, it sank its paper fangs into me, stuck itself to my hands with evil book superglue, and then SUCKED out my SOUL for 7 hours straight.

He Who Dunnit Shall Not Be Named // The Cuckoo’s Calling by Robert Galbraith

I completed this novel by Robert coughJKRowlingcough Galbraith just in time to look forward to the TV adaptation currently airing on the Beeb. Would I have ever picked this up if it wasn’t by Queen R herself? Probably not. But I wasn't building up false expectation that this would be anything like Harry Potter. EXCEPT IT TOTALLY IS.

Book of Slightly Half Baked Ideas // Book of Lies by Teri Terry

This book is ….odd. It seems to be almost two separate stories, strung together at the middle. For the first half of the novel, Piper and Quinn, twins reunited after a lifetime of mysterious separation, hash out their family issues in a suburban, ordinary setting. Then, just when I was starting to wonder if this book actually contained any fantasy elements whatsoever or was just a YA contemporary, BOOM!

The Half-arsed Adventures of Assassin!Barbie // Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas

This review is going to be one, long splurge of Unpopular Opinions ™, so if you happen to be a S J Maas junkie, I’m sorry my duckie but the time to bow out is probably now.

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