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a paper tiger's tale

books make maddy rage

Promise of Blurgh // Promise of Blood by Brian McClellan (Powder Mage #1)

I thought I had come to terms with my incoherent rage at this book, put that dark time behind me and peacefully erased its stench from my soul. UNTIL. Until last month, when Brandon Sanderson hosted Brian McClellan on his podcast Writing Excuses and literally SHOWERED HIM IN COMPLIMENTS about how his novels are 'exactly what the reader wants'. .....Uh??? ET TU SANDERSON??? Then FALL sword and sorcery. So guess what readers? I'm retrospectively reviewing it for y'alls personal charm and pleasure.

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October TBR + NaNoWriMo Prep (feat. Muffled Screaming & Excerpts From My 2012 NaNo)

Oh, October. How I love your blue autumn sky, your crisp orange leaves, the fact you are only one month till NaNo.... *record grinds to a halt*  Sorry, did someone say ONLY ONE MONTH TILL NANOWRIMO??

Instawuv and Hurrdurr // Love and Murder (Wonder Woman Vol.2) by Jodi Picoult

This week I'm trying something a little bit different, and reviewing a graphic novel (#EDGY). The good news? It's Wonder Woman!! The bad news? it sucked.

In which I ABANDON BASIC MORALITY for the sake of weirdly erotic shrubbery *sad reacts only pls* // Uprooted by Noami Novik

This book sidled up to me whispering seductive things like "Polish fairytales" "dark magic" and "bizarrely sexual descriptions of damp leaf mulch". I thought "I'll tap that mate," but before I could put it on my shelf, it sank its paper fangs into me, stuck itself to my hands with evil book superglue, and then SUCKED out my SOUL for 7 hours straight.

He Who Dunnit Shall Not Be Named // The Cuckoo’s Calling by Robert Galbraith

I completed this novel by Robert coughJKRowlingcough Galbraith just in time to look forward to the TV adaptation currently airing on the Beeb. Would I have ever picked this up if it wasn’t by Queen R herself? Probably not. But I wasn't building up false expectation that this would be anything like Harry Potter. EXCEPT IT TOTALLY IS.

Book of Slightly Half Baked Ideas // Book of Lies by Teri Terry

This book is ….odd. It seems to be almost two separate stories, strung together at the middle. For the first half of the novel, Piper and Quinn, twins reunited after a lifetime of mysterious separation, hash out their family issues in a suburban, ordinary setting. Then, just when I was starting to wonder if this book actually contained any fantasy elements whatsoever or was just a YA contemporary, BOOM!

The Half-arsed Adventures of Assassin!Barbie // Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas

This review is going to be one, long splurge of Unpopular Opinions ™, so if you happen to be a S J Maas junkie, I’m sorry my duckie but the time to bow out is probably now.

Howl’s Whiny Bitchfest // Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones

It is an oft-repeated piece of received wisdom that "the book is always better than the film". Obviously, this is a crock of shite. 

Zombie Leeches vs Zombie Policeman vs Zombie…. Zombie? // The Skinner by Neal Asher

The two word phrase which best defines this novel, imo, is WELL LONG.  Seriously. It's mega bloody long. And for the first 150 pages I honestly had no idea who the main characters were, what the plot was, and where any of it was going.

Carry On My Wayward Drarry // Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

I genuinely don’t understand the people who are angry at how much this book imitates Harry Potter, seeming to have missed the glaringly huge and obvious memo that it is a Harry Potter pastiche.

MacGuffins and Mean Girls // Etiquette and Espionage by Gail Carringer

It also took me solidly three years to drag my way through this book. Yeah. Not a good sign.

Moreta, Boringlady of Derp // Moreta, Dragonlady of Pern by Anne McCaffrey

This book absolutely reeks of mid-series filler. Which makes it disappointing that it was my first Pern novel, and that it may have turned me off the rest of this classic series for life. Why? Well, my friends, because nothing blimming... Continue Reading →

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